It's hard
not to fall in love with our dear friend Lizzie Jacobson as she takes you on
her incredible journey through her experiences with how she got to where she is
today! She is such a beautiful person inside and out and once you read her
story, we know you will feel the same way. We are so excited to have her a part
our blog, because we are "Simply Inspired!"
LIZZIE:
"You
have permission to heal." Permission. Something I had not given myself the
last 8 years of my life. Permission to let myself turn a new page. Permission
to let myself think I am enough. Permission to let myself know that there is
life beyond the pain- both mentally and physically. In order to overcome the
eating disorder and all that came with it, I had to truly let go. That’s it.
Just let go.
As I
sit here thinking back to where it all began, I am overwhelmed by a rush of
emotions. Where to begin? The beginning of it all seems a little fuzzy. I do
not think I can pinpoint an exact starting point of when it began. Was it back
in 5th grade when my dad started waking up early to make protein shakes? The
sound of the blender in the morning would wake me up. The protein shake would
be in the blender. I would wake up, run down and beg him for the leftover
chocolate goodness that came out of that blender. Why you may ask? I think back
then I thought it would make me look like the girls on the front of a Teen Magazine.
At the ripe old age of 11 I had already began keeping a food journal thinking that
this would make me skinny-like the girls on the cover of the magazines. I
wanted to be like them. I wanted to fit in. How could I, at the age of 11,
already have begun the process of being stripped of the innocence my youth
brought? My climb of one of the steepest hills had begun. It was not until
years later that I would admit to myself that I had a problem. I admitted this
to myself not because I really wanted to but more because I had
to. My life had started to become defined by my problem and it was time to make
a change. A positive change.
As
the saying goes, things typically get worse before they get better… and they
did. College was a major roller coaster. Two surgeries that took place the
summer after my freshman year led me to drop about 20 pounds leading to me
liking what I saw in the mirror. When the positive comments from people began
to roll in, the pressure to continue my new weight got worse. My best friends
all knew I was really struggling, but I was not willing to seek help. My life
continued to revolve around my obsession yet fear of food. People no longer
talked about how great I looked, rather the topic changed to their concern of
if I was okay.
Senior year of college I was eating about 600 calories a day and
continued to not acknowledge anything. There was one day where I realized that
I couldn’t do this alone anymore. It was 3pm. I was cruising in my Suburu and
had eaten maybe a banana and a coffee all day. I had stopped by a gas station
to buy trail mix because I had almost become too dizzy to drive as a result of
not eating. As I drove I attempted to get the trail mix open and after 30
failed attempts I finally ripped the bag open. As it went flying all over the
car I pulled over to the side of the road and cried or actually bawled for
about what seemed like hours. It was at that point I knew I had reached a point
where I needed help but little did I know the dark days were just beginning.
My life became and continued to be a constant battle of counting
calories, skipping meals, early mornings and late nights at the gym each day,
negative self-talk, skewed body image, and extreme perfection. Simply thinking
about all this leaves me exhausted. I graduated college and the battle still
continued.
It was
not until one morning a year after college ended when I woke up with stabbing
pains in my stomach would I realize that the hardest part of my journey was
just about to begin. The next three years of my life would begin a journey
through every health, wellness and medical mind from Mayo Clinic to Mexico. I
bounced around from every doctor, hospital, acupuncturist, hypnotist,
chiropractor, counselor, etc out there. I tried just about every diet and even
at one point became suicidal in hopes that all the pain would disappear. The
pains that were a result of what my eating disorder had done to body.
Due to all the health issues-both
physical and mental-I ended up quitting my new job at Target Corporate in 2015,
leaving my friends and life here in Minneapolis to move home to Sheboygan, WI.
To some it may seem like a sign of failure- quitting your job after 6 months-
but to me it was a sign of my strength. I finally was giving myself permission
to heal. It is hard to believe that this decision took place a little over 9
months ago. Coming home turned out to be more than a journey to healing my
physical body. It was a journey to realizing your parents can truly become your
best friends. A journey to realizing I am enough. A journey to building up one
of the most important relationships I can ever have: a best friendship with the
God one who created me. He truly showed and continues to show me His healing
power. That time at home gave me the opportunity to chase my passions: I got
certified in Yoga Nidra (relaxation yoga), began school at the Institute of Integrative
Nutrition to pursue my dream of becoming a health and wellness coach for young
woman, and even began my own business- Boomerang Girl.
Boomerang Girl has given me the
opportunity to share what I have learned with others. It is a community
created for young women to empower each other to love themselves for all that
they are, all that they were, and all they have yet to become. Many times
women hold themselves to an unrealistic standard of beauty. It is not fair the
expectations that society has placed on us. So it is our turn to fight back. To
fight back with love. To change the status quo.
A
Boomerang Girl is a faith-filled woman who will stop at nothing to end
the cycle of perfection and begin the path to self-acceptance. Boomerang Girl
is the integrative health coach that helps you understand that you are
immeasurably more than you believe, so you can feel free from the voices
who are telling you that you’re not enough.
Boomerang
Girl is a safe haven for women who:
- want
to let go of perfection
- struggle
with body image
- have
the desire to grow in self love and self confidence
- refuse
to give up hope, no matter how hard things get
- need
guidance from someone who understands
From
food to faith to fitness, I am here to help women find balance in all aspects
of their life.
As I
reflect back upon my journey I have learned that it is impossible to appreciate
the sweet times in life if I have not encountered the bitter.
I am
thankful for the fact that life is hard. Yep. Sounds messed up but from my
perspective it's true. The last few years of my life have been anything but a
cake walk. There have been many things I have seemingly lost but for all the
things lost they continue to be a reminder of what I will soon gain. I love
that life is bittersweet. I love that I am able to laugh through the pain and
smile through the challenges. Learning to be grateful has been my motto this
last year and I have to say it's become one of the best habits I could have
ever acquired. I firmly believe that we all become better people when we learn
to appreciate what we have. God is good.
Anyone who has struggled with an eating
disorder knows it is not healed overnight. It is definitely a journey. I have
been forever changed in a positive way. Never would I wish this upon anyone for
it has caused me much pain and heartache BUT there are a variety of avenues in
which a person can heal. This happens to be mine. By God's grace I am here. I
am alive. I am loved. I am well.
As
Shauna Niequist said, “Nothing
good gets built when life is easy.” When good things always happen there is no growth.
My journey continues to teach me that change and hard times are one of God’s
greatest gifts. He is pushing us to be the extraordinary person He knows we
were created to be. He reminds us to
trust in the process for transition and change are signs of sweeter times
ahead. God’s plan for us is far greater
than the one we have ever planned for ourselves. Change is God’s grace.
My
hope is that someone reading this today will gain courage to keep moving when
the odds seem to be against them and as always give themselves permission to
heal.
